On Being Gay

Taking a page from the how to stir up publicity for a film destined for the deep end of your Netflix cue, behind such classics as Pluto Nash, Gigli & even Sex Lives of Potato Men, Vince Vaughn defended the use of “gay” in the soon to be released Ron Howard film, The Dilemma,  saying: “Comedy and joking about our differences breaks tension and brings us together.” and went on to say “Drawing divided lines over what we can and cannot joke about does exactly that; it divides us. Most importantly, where does it stop.” Vince Vaughn, free speech advocate and later day George Carlin.

Is the trailer for The Dilemma funny?

Sure. In a 1950’s American as Apple Pie Wally and Beaver lets kill all the gays and string up all the niggers on our way to church kind of way. Not so funny in a 21st century kind of way where teenagers are throwing themselves over the George Washington Bridge to their deaths over the shame of being outed and ridiculed as gay.

Now, I am loathe to bring back the PC police. The uptight, holier than though sanctimony that more often than not goes hand in hand with political correctness is one reason why the left lost the culture wars of the 1990s. For the second culture war, or CW2, set to commence in earnest right after the tea party highjacked GOP gives a beat down to the Democrats in the mid-term elections and gets emboldened with Red Neck Racist Randian Regressive Glenn Beck theology, I suggest that the left do away with the PC police and get a little more pro active. Rather than trying to eliminate or police the use of words by others, we need to enter into the lexicon new words and embed pejorative connotations to words already in usage.

Just as “Gay,” whose dictionary definition is “happily excited; merry” and “keenly alive and exuberant” has been flipped to connote a negative association with the sexual orientation of 10% of the worlds population as part of a successful campaign to shame many homosexuals into thinking that there is somehow something wrong with them, progressives need to play less defense, and get offensive.

For instance, let us look at the word capitalist. Money, as we all know, makes the world go round, yes? And Greed, just as Gordon Gecko schooled us, is good. Even the Wall Street Journal recently ran an article recently whose headline read Capitalism Saved the Miners The profit = innovation dynamic was everywhere at the mine rescue site.  Daniel Henniger drew neat parallels between the miners stranded in Chile and the Americans suffering under the weight of our current economic woes and came to the same conclusion: the free market, which allowed an American company to created the drill bit that opened the earth to free the miners, should be a lesson to all of us.

What is missing from this brilliant piece of propaganda is the fact that it was the unregulated free market, thirsty for profit like a blood starved vampire, that created the unsafe conditions in the mine that got the minors trapped in the first place. Likewise with the American Economy: the unregulated free market that allowed  Gordon Gecko Capitalism to run unchecked on Wall Street lead directly to the credit and mortgage crisis that we continue to suffer the effects of.

The Wall Street Journal asking us to put our faith in the free market to get us out of that mess is a bit like suggesting to a rape victim that she get a medical exam at Jack the Ripper Medical Center where a staff of former Duke University Lacrosse players will administer her pelvic exam.

So, newsflash to all young leather soled Goron Gecko wanna bee’s on Wall Street: Gordon Gecko was a was a piece of satire, meant for ridicule not meant as a role model.

So the next time you are looking for a derogatory adjective to sprinkle into conversation, think of Capitalist. For instance instead of “Johnny wouldn’t let me copy his chem homework, he is such a faggot.” You could say – “Johnny is such a capitalist.”

You see- just like the leap from a jerk who would not let you mooch his Chem homework becomes to “gay” or a “fag” need not make any logical sense at all- tagging “capitalist” with negative connotaions need not be bound by any laws of logic or reason whatsoever.

Just have fun with it!

Just repeat it over and over again-with negative connotations. When we get to the day when enough people question their “capitalist orientations” and maybe even a few Wall Street Hedge Fund managers throw themselves off the George Washington Bridge because their were outed as a Capitalist, we will know we have made some headway. We will know we have made the world a better place.

In fact, to get us started, let’s have a little collaboration: In the comments section below, write a sentence that uses “capitalist” as a negative adjective. I will create a video out of the most creative sentences.

Come now, write a comment. What are you, gay- I mean What are you, a capitalist?