What do BP Oil, Andy Dick and LOST have in common?

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by Davis Fleetwood

Allowing BP to handle the Oil Leak disaster makes about as much sense as awarding the building contract to rebuild the Twin Towers to Al Qaeda.

So, we just over a month now into the largest environmental disaster in history, and the criminally negligent corporate structure that earned BP $7.7 Billion in first quarter profits in part because laws on the books that limit their liability for environmental disasters such as this to a paltry $75 Million is still in charge of their own crime scene.

Why?

Because the White House knows that this is a no win situation, kind of like being Andy Dick’s AA sponsor, and if they roll their sleeves up and take charge the news cycle during the 2010 midterm election will be populated with variations of the headline OBAMA’S KATRINA.

So, we are now over a month into the largest environmental disaster in history and we have no idea how to plug the leak. It will continue to gush through August (plus or minus 12 months) and never was there a meeting; not in Obama’s White House, and all of the agencies staffed with Nobel laureates in the worlds most powerful country; not in a BP corporate culture that knew, from their own interior sources, that a catastrophe like this was not an if, but a when; never did any of the kings horses nor any of the kinds men sit down and have a brainstorm session the end result of which produced anything like a contingency plan for this eventuality. And what do we, the American public do?

Listen: Shrugging your shoulders and rolling over to go to sleep, while an understandable response if you had the exhausting task of serving as Andy Dicks AA sponsor, when you get that phone call- again- that Andy is passed out in a hotel room under a pile of empty Meister Brau cans and a gaggle of barely legal employees of rent boy dot com, is not an acceptable response coming from a nation addicted to the that oil that is quite literally killing us when confronted with such a powerful reminder of the destructiveness of said addiction.
So, we are now just over a month into the largest environmental disaster in history as it unfolds in slow motion before our eyes; the geyser spewing anywhere between 5 and 110 millions gallons of oil into the Gulf of Mexico (depending on what estimates you believe) and we, as only Americans can, care less and less and less as time drips on like a an ancient form of Chinese torture, just another chapter in our Christian Nation’s favorite book: The End of Fucken Days. Because in America if you don’t believe somewhere in your heart of hearts that the Jesus is going to come down on a white horse and whisk you away to a “better place” you can count yourself in a minority, and if you are not a Jesus freak odds are you’ve got a Mayan calendar hanging on your bathroom wall in your trailer home somewhere so who cares about the effects of BP chemical dispersants on sub sea level ecosystems and the long term environmental impacts that might have, or a whole generation of people who make their living in the fishing industry from the area that accounts for 20% of the nations commercial seafood production Cuz the planet earth, like those unsuspecting crash test dummies in those old school Volvo commercials, is on a crash course with the immovable force called the END, so why bother getting in a tizzy about BP when we have our own private Andy Dick-weeds to tend and the metaphysical implications of the series finale of LOST to talk about?

-Davis Fleetwood 

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A freelance writer, Davis Fleetwood has worked as a writer/ media consultant for Dennis Kucinich’s 2008 presidential campaign and served as a contributing editorial commentator for The Uptake. His videos have been seen by over 14 million viewers. He has been called (among many other things) “one of the most prominent voices in YouTube politics.” (-You Tube News & Politics chief, Steve Grove) He was a “Best of YouTube, 2007” nomination. His book DROPPIN’ KNOWLEDGE LIKE A CLUMSY LIBRARIAN, is currently available from No Cure For That Press, and his first full length feature documentary, MANIFEST DESTINY’S CHILD, is due out on DVD this August.

THE HERMIT WITH DAVIS FLEETWOOD is a sometimes serious, sometimes satiric look at the top headlines, current events, and political trends. The show is Independently produced by a staff of one & runs on the fuel of your individual donations.

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