On Being Gay

Taking a page from the how to stir up publicity for a film destined for the deep end of your Netflix cue, behind such classics as Pluto Nash, Gigli & even Sex Lives of Potato Men, Vince Vaughn defended the use of “gay” in the soon to be released Ron Howard film, The Dilemma,  saying: “Comedy and joking about our differences breaks tension and brings us together.” and went on to say “Drawing divided lines over what we can and cannot joke about does exactly that; it divides us. Most importantly, where does it stop.” Vince Vaughn, free speech advocate and later day George Carlin.

Is the trailer for The Dilemma funny?

Sure. In a 1950′s American as Apple Pie Wally and Beaver lets kill all the gays and string up all the niggers on our way to church kind of way. Not so funny in a 21st century kind of way where teenagers are throwing themselves over the George Washington Bridge to their deaths over the shame of being outed and ridiculed as gay.

Now, I am loathe to bring back the PC police. The uptight, holier than though sanctimony that more often than not goes hand in hand with political correctness is one reason why the left lost the culture wars of the 1990s. For the second culture war, or CW2, set to commence in earnest right after the tea party highjacked GOP gives a beat down to the Democrats in the mid-term elections and gets emboldened with Red Neck Racist Randian Regressive Glenn Beck theology, I suggest that the left do away with the PC police and get a little more pro active. Rather than trying to eliminate or police the use of words by others, we need to enter into the lexicon new words and embed pejorative connotations to words already in usage.

Just as “Gay,” whose dictionary definition is “happily excited; merry” and “keenly alive and exuberant” has been flipped to connote a negative association with the sexual orientation of 10% of the worlds population as part of a successful campaign to shame many homosexuals into thinking that there is somehow something wrong with them, progressives need to play less defense, and get offensive.

For instance, let us look at the word capitalist. Money, as we all know, makes the world go round, yes? And Greed, just as Gordon Gecko schooled us, is good. Even the Wall Street Journal recently ran an article recently whose headline read Capitalism Saved the Miners The profit = innovation dynamic was everywhere at the mine rescue site.  Daniel Henniger drew neat parallels between the miners stranded in Chile and the Americans suffering under the weight of our current economic woes and came to the same conclusion: the free market, which allowed an American company to created the drill bit that opened the earth to free the miners, should be a lesson to all of us.

What is missing from this brilliant piece of propaganda is the fact that it was the unregulated free market, thirsty for profit like a blood starved vampire, that created the unsafe conditions in the mine that got the minors trapped in the first place. Likewise with the American Economy: the unregulated free market that allowed  Gordon Gecko Capitalism to run unchecked on Wall Street lead directly to the credit and mortgage crisis that we continue to suffer the effects of.

The Wall Street Journal asking us to put our faith in the free market to get us out of that mess is a bit like suggesting to a rape victim that she get a medical exam at Jack the Ripper Medical Center where a staff of former Duke University Lacrosse players will administer her pelvic exam.

So, newsflash to all young leather soled Goron Gecko wanna bee’s on Wall Street: Gordon Gecko was a was a piece of satire, meant for ridicule not meant as a role model.

So the next time you are looking for a derogatory adjective to sprinkle into conversation, think of Capitalist. For instance instead of “Johnny wouldn’t let me copy his chem homework, he is such a faggot.” You could say – “Johnny is such a capitalist.”

You see- just like the leap from a jerk who would not let you mooch his Chem homework becomes to “gay” or a “fag” need not make any logical sense at all- tagging “capitalist” with negative connotaions need not be bound by any laws of logic or reason whatsoever.

Just have fun with it!

Just repeat it over and over again-with negative connotations. When we get to the day when enough people question their “capitalist orientations” and maybe even a few Wall Street Hedge Fund managers throw themselves off the George Washington Bridge because their were outed as a Capitalist, we will know we have made some headway. We will know we have made the world a better place.

In fact, to get us started, let’s have a little collaboration: In the comments section below, write a sentence that uses “capitalist” as a negative adjective. I will create a video out of the most creative sentences.

Come now, write a comment. What are you, gay- I mean What are you, a capitalist?

The Pastor vs. Gen. Petraeus


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TRANSCRIPT
Where can we, Christians, Muslims, Atheists, Republicans, Democrats, Tea Partiers and Progressives, come together and find common ground? The answer can be found in the current debate being fought publicly between Gen. David Patraeus and Pastor Jones’ plan to burn, and inspire other to burn, Qur’an’s on 9/11.

At first blanch; I thought Petraus’ objection narrow minded. But is it?
Continue reading

The Social Network

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An Aaron Sorkin screenplay depicting him as a sex crazed borderline autistic conniver and now a mob of angry Facebook users threaten to quit Facebook over privacy concerns. Poor Mark Zuckerberg.

text below the break
Continue reading

Times Square Terror: Drone Blowback?

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by Davis Fleetwood

The New York Post, relying on anonymous “law-enforcement sources,” says that accused the accused Time Square attacker Faisal Shahzad was an “eyewitness” to the unmanned “onslaught throughout the eight months he spent in Pakistan beginning last summer.” And that he tried to bomb Times Square as payback for American drone attacks in Pakistan.

In a video made prior to the attack, the Pakistani Taliban leader Qari Hussain Mehsud said “the attack is a revenge” for “the recent rain of drone attacks,” and for the slaying of extremist leaders in Iraq and Pakistan.

President Obama has taken the unilateral Bush pre-emptive strategy to new levels of alienated remove. U.S. military personal can now control unmanned drones remotely in front of screens that imitate video games with life like accuracy.

Life imitating art.

Continue reading

Immigration Law: Unconstitutional, Racist, and very popular


by Davis Fleetwood
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It has been called misguided, unconstitutional and racist. And the controversial immigration law that has protesters in the streets and dominates the 24 hour news cycle took another turn for the bizarre yesterday when a conservative politician came out in favor of micro chipping illegal’s saying “I can micro-chip my dog so I can find it. Why can’t I micro-chip an illegal?”

Iraqi official:“Now that the Iraqi people have been liberated, minus a million or so innocent civilians who were killed, we are just doing our best to build a democracy in the image of the United States. I have a cable package. I watch Glenn Beck. Your new Arizona law seems like a good idea for us to replicate to deal with our over infestation with zit faced American boys with guns.”

Several Countries in the European Union and the Middle East say they plan to boycott Iraq because it’s now a police state where, “breathing while undocumented” is a crime.

All of the brouhaha is a reaction mainly to three sections of the recently passed Iraqi immigration law:

The first one allows when police are engaged in “lawful contact” with someone where there is “reasonable suspicion” the person is an illegal alien, that the police shall make a “reasonable attempt” to determine the person’s immigration status. Critics of this say it amounts to racial profiling. General David Patraeus said they new law will affect all of his troops on the ground:

“What is reasonable suspicion? That I am white? That I am dressed in military combat gear? That I am brandishing U.S. government issued semi automatic machine guns? That I am driving a tank? Take away these factors and this boils down to racial profiling. It is that simple. The conservative elements of the Iraqi government are racist.”

The other provision that is causing controversy makes it a crime to be in Iraq illegally. But it’s already an international crime to enter a sovereign nation illegally. The U.S. invasion and occupation of Iraq are already international war crimes. The new law just makes it an Iraqi crime, too. Essentially, Iraq is just pressuring the international community to enforce laws that already exist.

Responding to the charge that Iraqi police will now make random demands of American soldiers to produce their papers, the bill’s author Salam al-Maliki said simply:

“Now that the Iraqi people have been liberated, minus a million or so innocent civilians who were killed, we are just doing our best to build a democracy in the image of the United States. I have a cable package. I watch Glenn Beck. Your new Arizona law seems like a good idea for us to replicate to deal with our over infestation with zit faced American boys with guns.”

As of yesterday, anyone in Iraq who is stopped without papers will be, quote” placed on a bus and sent back to where they came from.
Continue reading

Pope Benedict, Despite Condom Issues, To Penetrate Her Majesty’s Country


Pope Benedict, Despite Condom Issues, To Penetrate Her Majesty’s Country
by Davis Fleetwood

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A representative of Her Majesty’s civil service has generated a memo- intended as a joke for his co-workers and not for worldwide Internet consumption- and the Vatican is not laughing. Who would have guessed that this head the worldwide criminal syndicate and champion of 17th century drag queen fashion trends would also lack a sense of humor?

First, the memo:  Steven Mulvain, a recent Oxford graduate, is the man who distributed an internal government “brainstorming” memo proposing a bizarre itinerary to mark Pope Benedict’s September visit to the U.K. that reads more like a SNL sketch than something generated by the austere Foreign affairs office. The suggested itinerary for the Pope includes, in the now infamous “IDEAL VISIT” memo includes such activities as a launch of “Benedict” condoms, a blessing of a gay marriage, a Papal sponsorship of  a network of AIDS clinics, a training course for bishops on child abuse allegations and ordain a female priest and Topping it all off with the Pope and Her Majesty sing a duet for charity and changing the national anthem from God Save The Queen to God Save the World.

The Vatican was furious. Senior Papal aides suggested the Foreign Office had not taken strong enough disciplinary action against those responsible for the document. It turns out that Steven Mulvain, the author of the memo, was not fired. He was, in an ironic twist sure to win over the dry cerebral humor of the English, simply relocated to another department.

The news comes on the heels of prominent atheist such as Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens calling for the arrest of the pope for crimes against humanity during the Pope’s upcoming visit. Dawkins defended his position in a recent Washington post article, describing Benny as

A leering old villain in a frock, a man whose preaching of scientific falsehood is responsible for the deaths of countless AIDS victims in Africa; a man whose first instinct when his priests are caught with their pants down is to cover up the scandal and damn the young victims to silence.

The Vatican has brushed aside such charges, not by defending them, but by asserting that The Pope is a head of State, and not subject to such criminal charges.

The Vatican has even gone so far as threatening to cancel the trip, but has since promised that Pope Benedict, despite the condom issues, will Penetrate Her Majesty’s Country.

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A freelance writer, Davis Fleetwood has worked as a writer/ media consultant for Dennis Kucinich’s 2008 presidential campaign and served as a contributing editorial commentator for The Uptake. His videos have been seen by over 14 million viewers. He has been called (among many other things) “one of the most prominent voices in YouTube politics.” (-You Tube News & Politics chief, Steve Grove) He was a “Best of YouTube, 2007” nomination. His book I Stay In So You Can Go Out, is due out in May from No Cure For That Press, and his first full length feature documentary, MANIFEST DESTINY’S CHILD, is due out on DVD this June.

THE HERMIT WITH DAVIS FLEETWOOD is a sometimes serious, sometimes satiric look at the top headlines, current events, and political trends. The show is Independently produced by a staff of one & runs on the fuel of your individual donations.

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South Park’s Depiction Of Muhammad Censored AGAIN; Muhammad Responds

South Park’s Depiction Of Muhammad Censored AGAIN; Muhammad Responds
by Davis Fleetwood
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Matt and Trey Parker did a funny thing- to get around Comedy Central censorship that will not allow them to depict Mohammad; they had the prophet in a bear suit. That got the freaks at RevolutionMuslim.com to publish a warning to the South Park Creators saying that they could end up like Theo Van Gogh, a Dutch filmmaker who was shot and stabbed to death by an extremist, for depicting Muhammad on their show. Below the warning were a picture of the murdered Van Gough and the addresses of Comedy Central’s New York office and Parker and Stone’s California production office. The Jihadists at Revolutionary Muslim say they are not encouraging violence, only encouraging their readers to voice their displeasure with Comedy Central. If one of those readers plows into the comedy central offices with a truck full of explosives, well then glory be to Allah.

If you think murder in the name of God is only for Muslims, consider our last president started our current war after- in his own words- speaking directly with God.

As Sam Harris quipped: The president of the United States has claimed, on more than one occasion, to be in dialogue with God. If he said that he was talking to God through his hairdryer, this would precipitate a national emergency. I fail to see how the addition of a hairdryer makes the claim more ridiculous or offensive.”

The USA is a country where more than 2/3 of the population apparently believes that Jesus Christ will come down and do his magic, orchestrate the end of days, whisk away those chosen few to salvation while leaving the rest us of to fall into a fiery pit with Satan. Look, any reasonable person will agree that strict adherence to Christian or Muslim belief systems are not compatible with the long-term survival of the human species. So, what do we do?

To comment on the situation, I am very luck to have on the phone with me today the prophet himself. Thank you for joining me your Fatwaness.

The Prophet Mohammad: (on phone)- Oy,Vey, don’t be such a schlemiel Fleetwood, please.

Davis Fleetwood: Let’s get right to the point: Would you support one of your followers martyring themselves for this South Park cause?

The Prophet Mohammad: (on phone)-  I’m so Faklempt about the whole ting. First, I just want to say, enough already. I am all out of virgins. Second- who doesn’t like South Park already- Matt and Trey such meshuganas they are. Third, who has time for this nonsense? Aren’t there bigger problems in the world today? All right- I’ve got to go- this yenta got me tickets to the Jackie Mason concert- I’m going with Sarah Silverman. I’m gonna tag that ass. Wish me luck.

Davis Fleetwood: Thank you for joining me prophet Mohammad. For joining me today, the prophet will receive promotional considerations including free pair of his and hers Hermit with Davis Fleetwood underwear.

ω

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This work by Davis Fleetwood is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Follow No Cure For That on Twitter.
click for the latest in the hermit with davis fleetwood, acronym, errata, & song of the day

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A freelance writer, Davis Fleetwood has worked as a writer/ media consultant for Dennis Kucinich’s 2008 presidential campaign and served as a contributing editorial commentator for The Uptake. His videos have been seen by over 14 million viewers. He has been called (among many other things) “one of the most prominent voices in YouTube politics.” (-You Tube News & Politics chief, Steve Grove) He was a “Best of YouTube, 2007” nomination. His book I Stay In So You Can Go Out, is due out in May from No Cure For That Press, and his first full length feature documentary, MANIFEST DESTINY’S CHILD, is due out on DVD this June.

THE HERMIT WITH DAVIS FLEETWOOD is a sometimes serious, sometimes satiric look at the top headlines, current events, and political trends. The show is Independently produced by a staff of one & runs on the fuel of your individual donations.

Click here to Donate.


Iranian Cleric: Promiscuous Women Cause Earthquakes


by Davis Fleetwood
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“Many women who do not dress modestly … lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes,” so says a senior Iranian Cleric in Iran. “What can we do to avoid being buried under the rubble? “There is no other solution but to take refuge in religion and to adapt our lives to Islam’s moral codes.”

Note to self: Create a revival of Footloose reconceived and reset in small town Iran and produce it an open air Tehran theatre next season. Footloose to Iran will be what Hair was to the U.S.: an anti establishment bit of revolutionary agit prop that will eventually be co-opted by capitalists and rendered an impotent and cute costume drama. On second thought, perhaps that is not such a good idea.

An Earthquake waiting to happen

In Iran, women are required by law to be covered from head to toe, but many younger women flout the law- pushing their hijab all the way back to reveal – gasp- hair and inviting a devastating earthquake in Tehran.

“A divine authority told me to tell the people to make a general repentance. Why? Because calamities threaten us,” the cleric said.

Or, as scientist view it: There have been two decades of warnings from Seismologist that the capitol city of Iran will be struck by a catastrophic earthquake in the near future. Continue reading

We Are The World/Haiti

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(sing it now:) we are the ones who decide who gets the aid and who gets an air strike
by Davis Fleetwood

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When I heard that they are re-recording We Are The World to benefit Haiti, my first thought was Will Lady Gaga sing Boy George’s part?” That has now been confirmed.

Also: Justin Timberlake, Bono, Eminem, Jay-Z, Barbra Streisand are just a handful of the confirmed 100-plus stars scheduled to take part in a re-recording of “We Are the World” to benefit Haiti in an orgy of self congratulatory Catharsis on demand, and without apology. It is the American way.

I know, don’t say it: you really do want to hurt me. You really want to make me cry.

"We Are The World": we decide who gets the aid and who gets an air strike

Legendary producer Quincy Jones, who collaborated with songwriters Michael Jackson Lionel Richie on the original “We are the World” benefit for South Africa says: “It’s the 25th anniversary (of the 1985 song) and it’s perfect timing. It’s not an accident, man. That’s God. It will be ‘We Are the World’ for Haiti.”

Come again? Is it God that created the tectonic plate shifts under the city of Port Au Prince? Or are you suggesting that there is a biblical significance to the number 25? Or was that some version of guilt that ascribes your remarkable good fortune to being born in a country rich and powerful enough to decide who lives and who dies as the will of God?

Either way, Quincy Jones decided that while all of the stars are in town for the Grammies he’d drag them into the same studio and the magic continues, the only concern in Hollywood was: with all of the stars are in one studio, who will light the way for all us sheep through the pitch black night?

Of course, it’s a wonderful gesture and probably a genius idea.  I’ve said before, I’ve donated to Haiti. And I have matched those donations with funds going to groups working in Iraq.

Cuz really, where the fuck was Quincy Jones and his craptastic anthems
when we the United States went on a criminally negligent homicidal rampage that erroneously sent Iraq back to the stone ages? Where is the
outpouring of aid and relief for Iraqi people? Just because tectonic
plates brought the destruction — as opposed to Halliburton and our own tax dollars working through the extended arm of the United States military and with the blessing of our elected officials doesn’t make it any less tragic.

I wonder who will be up and running with some semblance of normalcy first:
Haiti or Iraq?  Given that those two countries house 2 of the 5 largest U.S. embassies world wide, Las Vegas is placing favorable odds that both will but up and running, in good time, and remade in a different image. Because, as the song goes: We are the World.
After the antics of our government these past 10 years, and the people who vote them in, “We Are The World” takes a whole new meaning. We are the world, fuckers, and you better get ready because we decide who gets the aid and who gets an air strike.

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THE HERMIT WITH DAVIS FLEETWOOD is a satiric look at the top headlines, current events, and political trends. The show is Independently produced by a staff of one & runs on the fuel of your individual donations.

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Find Davis Fleetwood on facebook, itunes, twitter, BlipTV, youtube, myspace,

Also. read Davis’ daily column, THIS DAY IN THE USA

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Tim Tebow SuperBowl Ad: A Commercial Based On A Lie

Tim Tebow SuperBowl Ad: A Commercial Based On A Lie
by Davis Fleetwood
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When I bite into a York Peppermint Pattie, I get the sensation of leaving behind this world where God fearing Christians can smile and wear gold crosses, drive their SUV’s and still hold their heads high, bolstered by their faith and feel holier than thou while we rape, pillage and kill brown people in less developed parts of the world so that we can maintain our quote unquote way if life of living in a world where belief in an all knowing creator of the universe who wrote a book of laws for us to live by is on equal footing with belief in Tinkerbell.

Get the sensation!

Catching a glimpse of Tim Tebow with his black face paint instructing me to read bible passages is nothing like biting into a York Peppermint Pattie.

By now we all know that an anti choice commercial featuring Tim Tebow and his mother Pam has been approved by CBS and will likely air to during a time when the number of Americans collected around TV sets is greater than the number of Americans who voted in the last presidential election.

And for a variety of reasons, Pro-Choice groups are up in arms, circulating the usual petitions in hopes that they can pressure CBS to withdraw the ad. One reason is that the advocacy ad, produced and paid for by the hate group focus on the family, is based on a lie. Namely, reports state that the commercial will focus Pam Tebow’s 1987 pregnancy, during which time she fell ill in the Philippines. According to reports, doctors recommended that she abort the pregnancy, but she chose to go through with the birth of her son Tim.

However, according to Women’s rights campaigner and attorney Gloria Allred, abortion under any circumstance has been illegal in the Philippines since 1930 and is punishable by a six-year prison term, making the claim that her doctors advised her to abort the baby appear to be a fabrication.

What a second. Commercials lie?

You mean that if I drink Coors light, buy a Ford F-150, and pop a little blue pill I WON’T be more of a man, with my erection lasting just under the medically dangerous threshold of four hours receiving constant attention from a bevy of barley legal swimsuit models with perpetually gyrating hips and gravity defying breast making me the envy of all of the mealy mouthed girly men on my block?

Of course commercial lie! That is a given.

Now don’t get me wrong- I think if we could snap our fingers and wake up in a world where women’s groups take over the leadership positions of all of the world’s superpowers, that the world would be an infinitely better place for it.

How does that song go? – “Women of the world take over, because if you don’t, the world will come to an end, and it won’t take long.”

Of course the commercial is a lie. It is a commercial.

Efforts and banning the ad bring to mind the words of Free Speech scholar Nat Hentoff who noted the left wings propensity to advocate for “Free Speech for me and not for thee.”

Right thinking individuals everywhere offended by Tim Tebow and his ilk would be better served refocusing our efforts on empowering or recruiting other famous athletes to offer a counterbalancing message.

Imagine the impact of a Superbowl athlete wearing black eye paint in the style of Tim Tebow during the game with the word “Impeach” under his left eye and the word “Jesus” under his right eye.

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THE HERMIT WITH DAVIS FLEETWOOD is a satiric look at the top headlines, current events, and political trends. The show is Independently produced by a staff of one & runs on the fuel of your individual donations.

Click here to Donate.

Find Davis Fleetwood on facebook, itunes, twitter, BlipTV, youtube, myspace,

Also. read Davis’ daily column, THIS DAY IN THE USA

contact (e) NoCureForThat {at} gmail {dot} com