Because it is that time of year when we have to endure lists, and because all of the other lists are going to be some version of a Barbara Walters soft white light view of the world, I give you some holiday party talking points for what should be the top 10 news stories of 2010.
#10. Obama’s Health Care Reform
Depending on your point of view, Obama either accomplished something that many presidents have failed to do or he created what amounts to a huge gift to anyone with health insurance stock in their portfolios.
Either way, most of the meaningful provisions of this historic legislation don’t even go into effect until 2014 and in the intervening time the Democrats will be so busy trying to prevent Sarah Palin from becoming our next President that the they will acquiesce to amendments and compromises to the bill that will strip away all of the good and make even the cost of Advil out of reach for most Americans.
Isn’t that always the way with Democrats though, one baby step forward, 10 Andre-the Giant steps back?
#9 World Cup in South Africa
Most Americans would rather watch badminton, curling, or avant-garde French cinema than what the rest of the world calls football and we belligerently refer to as soccer.
Why?
Because football is for men and steeped in war metaphor with bombs and blitzes and aerial attacks. Football is American. Soccer, the ultimate team game, is for commies. If soccer were to catch on in the USA, what would be next, National Health Care? That is why the success of the World Cup offers a glimmer of hope to Godless commies marooned here in the USA.
When I heard that they are re-recording We Are The World to benefit Haiti, my first thought was Will Lady Gaga sing Boy George’s part?” That has now been confirmed.
Also: Justin Timberlake, Bono, Eminem, Jay-Z, Barbra Streisand are just a handful of the confirmed 100-plus stars scheduled to take part in a re-recording of “We Are the World” to benefit Haiti in an orgy of self congratulatory Catharsis on demand, and without apology. It is the American way.
I know, don’t say it: you really do want to hurt me. You really want to make me cry.
"We Are The World": we decide who gets the aid and who gets an air strike
Legendary producer Quincy Jones, who collaborated with songwriters Michael Jackson Lionel Richie on the original “We are the World” benefit for South Africa says: “It’s the 25th anniversary (of the 1985 song) and it’s perfect timing. It’s not an accident, man. That’s God. It will be ‘We Are the World’ for Haiti.”
Come again? Is it God that created the tectonic plate shifts under the city of Port Au Prince? Or are you suggesting that there is a biblical significance to the number 25? Or was that some version of guilt that ascribes your remarkable good fortune to being born in a country rich and powerful enough to decide who lives and who dies as the will of God?
Either way, Quincy Jones decided that while all of the stars are in town for the Grammies he’d drag them into the same studio and the magic continues, the only concern in Hollywood was: with all of the stars are in one studio, who will light the way for all us sheep through the pitch black night?
Of course, it’s a wonderful gesture and probably a genius idea. I’ve said before, I’ve donated to Haiti. And I have matched those donations with funds going to groups working in Iraq.
Cuz really, where the fuck was Quincy Jones and his craptastic anthems
when we the United States went on a criminally negligent homicidal rampage that erroneously sent Iraq back to the stone ages? Where is the
outpouring of aid and relief for Iraqi people? Just because tectonic
plates brought the destruction — as opposed to Halliburton and our own tax dollars working through the extended arm of the United States military and with the blessing of our elected officials doesn’t make it any less tragic.
I wonder who will be up and running with some semblance of normalcy first:
Haiti or Iraq? Given that those two countries house 2 of the 5 largest U.S. embassies world wide, Las Vegas is placing favorable odds that both will but up and running, in good time, and remade in a different image. Because, as the song goes: We are the World.
After the antics of our government these past 10 years, and the people who vote them in, “We Are The World” takes a whole new meaning. We are the world, fuckers, and you better get ready because we decide who gets the aid and who gets an air strike.
ω
click for most recent episode
THE HERMIT WITH DAVIS FLEETWOOD is a satiric look at the top headlines, current events, and political trends. The show is Independently produced by a staff of one & runs on the fuel of your individual donations.
Depending on your point of view, Obama either accomplished something that many presidents have failed to do or he created what amounts to a huge gift to anyone with health insurance stock in their portfolios.
Most Americans would rather watch badminton, curling, or avant-garde French cinema than what the rest of the world calls football and we belligerently refer to as soccer.
