Sarah Palin Lookalike Contest Being Held At Chicago Strip Club The Day Palin Speaks At GOP Fundraiser

by Davis Fleetwood

A Chicago strip club is celebrating Sarah Palin’s visit to Illinois next month by hosting a Palin lookalike contest titled “Less Taxation, More Stimulation”. A portion of the event’s proceeds will be donated to the Tea Party movement.

I’m not kidding.

It was obscene enough when Ronald Regan rose from Hollywood B star to the office of the presidency, but this twenty first century synergistic blend of porn, entertainment and politics is not something that the founding fathers, no matter what the Ayn Randian Regressive tea baggers will tell you, had in mind. Unless of course, you count among the founding fathers one P.T. Barnum.

What can possibly be next?

Not to be outdone, the log cabin republicans have announced several lookalike strip contests at Chicago hot spots: The Glenn Beck lookalike strip contest “Chalk my board” at the Lucky Horseshoe on May 9, The Mitch McConnell lookalike strip contest “Filla my buster” at the Cattle Call on May 10, and the highly anticipated “Pound me in my Pickup” Scott Brown lookalike strip contest at the Jackhammer on May 11.

(song of the day) Amerie – 1 Thing

You know, if I am going to be honest, this song is way up my “most played” on my itunes. True. Like that old Sesame Street game, “which one of these things does not look like the other” this song sits way up top with The Flaming Lips, Fugazi, John Coltrane, & DJ Shadow. Perhaps it is because I worked as a high school teacher just outside of D.C. years ago and was exposed to “Go-Go”, or perhaps (now as a resident of the northeast) on those winter days when I was forced to run inside on a treadmill, it was this song, more than any other, that got me to run that extra mile.

P.S.- I am dragging my fat ass through the Providence Marathon this Sunday.
Thank you Amerie.

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Congress Announces Plan To Hide Nation’s Porn From Future Generations

From THE ONION
Congress hopes the Pornographic Media Concealment Act will ensure a lasting, respectable legacy for our nation, unmarred by the massive quantities of filthy porn we regularly consume.

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Bishop: Priests think child abuse ‘doesn’t break celibacy’

This article originally appeared on True/Slant. Written by Allison Kilkenny. You can follow Allison on facebook.

A few days ago, I revisited the definition of the word “terrorism” after Dr. Tiller’s killer, Scott Roeder, threw a public fit and accused prosecutors of besmirching his good name when they described his crimes as terrorism. Well, it looks like it’s time for another dictionary perusal.

Some pedophile priests believe molesting children does not breach their vow of celibacy, a retired Australian Catholic bishop said in a magazine interview.

Geoffrey Robinson, former auxiliary bishop of Sydney, told The Australian Women’s Weekly he had made the observation during years of work with victims of child abuse within the church.

“We’ve met it often enough to see it as a factor. That’s what the vow of celibacy refers to, being married. If it’s not an adult woman, then somehow they’re not breaking their vow,” the 72-year-old said.

Celibacy:

1. Abstinence from sexual intercourse, especially by reason of religious vows.

2. The condition of being unmarried.

I don’t see any mention of “adult” or “woman” in this definition.

The idea that the church needs to force priests to attend mandatory seminars that explain screwing kiddies breaks their celibacy — oh, and also, is completely disgusting, immoral, and illegal — seems absurd. Yet, it is now undeniable that the church is — and has been for quite some time – experiencing a child rape pandemic. Either the clergy attracts a vicious type of predatory monster, or forced celibacy mentally cripples men, and they begin to act out sexually unto the nearest targets, who are generally, but not always, young boys.

What Happened When I Went Undercover at a Christian Gay-to-Straight Conversion Camp

This article originally appeared on Stinque. Written by Ted Cox
Ted Cox is a writer who follows the gay “conversion” movement: Organizations that claim to “cure” gays of their homosexuality. The entire article is available online.

My weekend was filled with crying, singing, and wrestling, as 30 men struggled to overcome their attraction to other men. It was also the first time I felt another man’s erection.

Does this really offend you?

I don’t remember exactly when I felt his erection pressing into my back. It might have been while he whispered in my ear, “Long ago, you were the Golden Child. But, somehow, that Golden Child was hurt, and you put up a wall to protect yourself.” Or it might have been when other men in the room broke out in song:

How could anyone ever tell you
That you’re anything less than beautiful?
How could anyone ever tell you
That you’re less than whole?

I sat on the floor between the outstretched legs of a camp guide, my head leaning back against his shoulder. The guide sat behind me, his arms wrapped around my chest. This hold was called “The Motorcycle.” Five men surrounded the two of us, their hands resting gently on my arms, legs and chest.

There were about ten other groups like this sitting on the floor in the darkened room: one guide giving “healing-touch therapy” while the surrounding men rested their hands on the receiver. Some men were held in the Motorcycle position. Others were turned towards their guide, cradled the way a parent would hold a sobbing child who had just scraped her knee on the sidewalk.