Stewart Vs. Fox, round 1,341
by Davis Fleetwood 
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This summer, the Right Network will premiere, making Fox News look like very middle of the road by comparison. Until that next chapter in the infotainment culture wars begins, it sure is fun watching John Stewart pick apart the regressive windbags at Fox.
Last week John Stewart ended yet another critique of Fox news hypocrisy with a line that could only have been penned by a team of highly paid writers when he said, in a shot heard round the internets, “You know I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, go Fuck yourselves.”
Stewart opened last night’s show by breaking down the Fox News rebuttal, offered up by Bernie Goldberg, whose sniveling direct address to Stewart served like slow pitch batting practice pitches that Stewart dutifully hit over the fence- erupting into a gospel number in which had Stewart dancing and testifying, gospel style, while he and his background singers repeatedly sang “Go Fuck Yourself.” And his writers earned their paycheck when Stewart said:
“Fox News is such a crazy overreaction to the perceived threat of the liberal pathogen in evidence at NBC, ABC & CBS, that it is like an autoimmune disorder. I’m not saying the virus does not exist in some small quantity, but you are producing way to many antibodies. Fox News: You’re the Lupus of News.”
As Stewart points out again and again, Fox cannot win this argument and maintain it’s “Fair and balanced” moniker. Stewart, as he himself contends, is not drifting into the news category. The News is drifting into his.
While Fox News will hold down the Fair and Balanced ship, the growing Tea Bagging element of American culture will soon have a new network: THE RIGHT NETWORK.
And no, this is not a story from the Onion.
Kelsey Grammar is a partner in the venture that will launch this summer that promises everything right, at the click of a remote. The lineup focuses on entertainment with Pro-America, Pro-Business, Pro-Military sensibilities — compelling content that inspires action, invites a response, and influence the national conversation.
The Right Network would have you believe that MSNBC, a subsidiary of the GE, a company whose profits are so dependant on the thriving military industrial complex that it is as helpless to act responsibly as Charlie Sheen is in the presence of a $5K an hour hooker. Sure Rachel Maddow and Keith Olberman are anti-war. It is cool now. But as Allison Kilkenny points out in a recent article:
“Back when peace was very “unhip,” Phil Donahue was promptly sacked from MSNBC in 2003 — not for burning the flag during a Communism-inspired rage — but because he was an opponent of the Iraq war.”
Maddow and Olberman anti big business? Anti Military? Anti-American? That is like saying Howard Cosell was anti-boxing.
As the Right Network prepares to launch, it seems to have preemptively protected itself against the likes of John Stewart. Fair and balanced is out the window, and entertainment is the only criteria.
So what anti-American, Anti-business, anti military pundit/ comedian will step up to the plat and respond to the RIGHT NETWORK. Let me be the first to say to Kelsey Grammar and his tea bagging militia- “You know I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, go Fuck yourselves.”
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A freelance writer, Davis Fleetwood has worked as a writer/ media consultant for Dennis Kucinich’s 2008 presidential campaign and served as a contributing editorial commentator for The Uptake. His videos have been seen by over 14 million viewers. He has been called (among many other things) “one of the most prominent voices in YouTube politics.” (-You Tube News & Politics chief, Steve Grove) He was a “Best of YouTube, 2007” nomination. His book I Stay In So You Can Go Out, is due out in May from No Cure For That Press, and his first full length feature documentary, MANIFEST DESTINY’S CHILD, is due out on DVD this June.
THE HERMIT WITH DAVIS FLEETWOOD is a sometimes serious, sometimes satiric look at the top headlines, current events, and political trends. The show is Independently produced by a staff of one & runs on the fuel of your individual donations.
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